Baby number two is playing soccer inside my womb while my eldest (4 years old) is running around the house, throwing bouncy balls, flying paper planes and watching Netflix videos (somehow all at the same time).
It is moments like this that make me realize – I am SCARED to be a mother of two!
Do I have the energy to manage two children? Can I give them both the attention that they need and deserve? How do mothers with 3/4/5 children do it? Will I ever see the carpet in my house again or am I destined to walk on toys forever?
Every now and then these doubts creep into my mind and make me lose any shred of confidence I may have had in myself as a mother.
But then there are these other moments… moments like watching my son’s reaction to feeling his baby sister/brother move inside of me for the first time or listening to his plans for when he becomes a big brother and all of the things that he will teach his sibling. The fear then turns into excitement.
Excitement about the kind of big brother my son will be and the kind of relationship the two of them will have as they get older. Excitement about family vacations, Christmases and birthdays with three screaming children (husband included) who could barely contain their excitement about all of the fun and presents that they are going to get.
Excitement about being a mother of two.